Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Project Runway

Dear Blog,

It's true, I auditioned for Project Runway this weekend, and I didn't get in. I got up at 5 in the morning, stood out in the cold with my outfits and portfolios until my feet literally went numb, and made three very, very sweet girls change in a dirty Dunkin' Donuts bathroom.

I did a good job, though. I passed all the tests, got to the last audition room and was interviewed on camera. The guy who I made friends with in line (Bendik, who had a spiritual revelation that he should be on the show) came out of the interview room right before I went in, looking seriously beat down. He said they were going to be really mean.

Tim Gunn said that he didn't understand how my samples were all from the same designer. Huh?

I said, "I wanted to bring you guys some variety."

Mary Gelhar said, "That IS the problem with variety."

Daniel V said he didn't get how it was both pop and classic. They all said they couldn't figure me out, but they were intrigued.

The woman from Elle looked like she was going to throw up every time she asked me a question. I'm sure she totally hated me. Or thought I was disgusting. Maybe because I mentioned that I had made clothing out of garbage once. She said, "Why would you do that?" And then made her puke face.

Then Tim Gunn saw the page in my portfolio from NY Magazine and said, "I really wish you had brought that dress instead." What does that mean? Tim Gunn, you are an enigma.

They talked to me on camera for a relatively long time, but they didn't seem to actually like me. Or maybe they were just cranky. They didn't really care about my answers to their questions, and pretty much answered them themselves. They mostly just wanted to say something snappy on camera. I'd like to think I said some snappy things, too.

Then they wrote "maybe" on their papers and said they would call at the end of the day. They didn't call. Maybe I'll make it to a wacky audition montage. I totally don't want to be on a wacky audition montage.


P.S. Sorry, there isn't really anything funny or hazzards-y about this story (unless you count the guy doing a serious #2 in the Dunkin' Donuts bathroom right before my models went in). I didn't even get a chance to mention The Hazzards in my interview. I just wanted to share.

P.P.S. My horoscope says I'm going to make an awsome new partnership on the 29th. Does that mean I can hold out hope that they'll call me until then?


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