Friday, June 30, 2006

The Hazzards in Hoboken!

Hey! All 5 Hazzards will be celebrating America this Saturday night with our friend and fellow patriot Kevin Devine!!! We'll be at the legendary Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ. Did you know that Hoboken is known for being the birthplace of baseball and Frank Sinatra? I don't think it gets more American than that. BE THERE!!!

July 1st, 2006
The Hazzards at Maxwell's
1039 Washington Street
Hoboken, NJ
Tickets: $8 advance / $10 door,
with Kevin Devine!!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Hot Dogs and Pillsbury Grands!

Dear Blog,

Last night Anne dared me to write a song about my dinner: gigantic pigs-in-a-blanket, made with hot dogs and Pillsbury Grands, and secretly stuffed with a piece of cheddar cheese.

They were delicious! And I did write a song about it!!

I was going to write down my favorite lines from the song for you, Blog, but I'll be honest, the song doesn't make a whole lot of sense. You don't believe me? Here's a little excerpt for you:
"Why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate me? Are you mad that I ate all the Grands, and you ate frozen peas?"
Looking back at the song, there's not a lot that really makes sense out of context. And lyrics always look dumber written down than they sound when you sing them. Songwriting is a mystery!

Get psyched for this weird song! I'm hoping it makes the cut (and that I can learn it in time) for our Make Out Party this week, because you may never hear it again.

Our Wednesday Night Make Out Party at Galapagos is going to be "very special" this month. Ben Lerman & Pathfire are playing. And we're playing with the ORIGINAL HAZZARDS LINE-UP! (That is: Anne & Sydney, old style.) We're playing a full ring-tone (um, I mean 'micro-songs') set, plus rarely-heard, never-heard, and never-again-to-be-heard songs. What a treat! It is going to be crazy, weird, and fun. And there'll never be another show like it!!



Friday, June 16, 2006

DEAR DIARY: Summer Job

Dear Diary,

We’ve been trying to find a summer job all week. Why is it so hard? We went to Burger King, McDonalds, AND Wendy’s. None of them would give us a job, even though we borrowed our mom’s blue blazer to look more professional. We’ll probably end up being a volunteer junior counselor at day camp. . . again. At least we won’t smell like french fries all day long! And we’re totally the best at teaching Arts & Crafts!!

Sydney & Anne
The Hazzards


We thought we were on summer vacation, but we were wrong!

Watch us playing our new song, Dude (Let's Get Boners) on

And check out all the shows we've got coming up:

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
The Hazzards' Wednesday Night Makeout Party
70 North 6th Street
between Kent and Wythe
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY 11211
718 782-5188
It's a "very special" Makeout Party with BFFs Ben Lerman; Pathfire; and a super-special, one-of-a-kind, all ringtones & rarities performance by us, The Hazzards; plus maybe a secret special guest.
Come early & check out Love Ahoy at 8pm, Brooklyn's most hilarious live dating show!!

June 28th, 2006
Comedy is for Humans presents: The Comediarock Summer Jam!
Mundial505 East 12th Street @ Ave. A
Funny music with Rob Paravonian, Shayna Ferm, The Rob and Mark Show, and Schaffer The Darklord

July 1st, 2006
1039 Washington Street
Hoboken, NJ
Tickets: $8 advance / $10 door,
with Kevin Devine!!
If you live in NJ, you have no excuse for not coming to this show. Seriously.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Our Boners are Huge!

Dear Blog,

Imagine that Anne & I are two gentlemen, and that sometimes we just like to have a night of fun out on the town together. Good. Now watch us performing our new song, Dude (Let's Get Boners) on The Clip Joint, part of the fine web-programming on Comedy Central's Motherload.

When you get there, you may notice that our clip is described as, "Let's get wild, it's Boys Night Out!boners, strip clip, high five, dudes". Is it just me, or is that descrition strangely cryptic? Maybe it's just me. I've been doing a lot of PowerPoint-ing at work, and it requires serious 'focus'.

Anyway. . . Sweet!! Watch us sing dirty things on Motherload.


P.S. I can't watch it on my work computer. Does it look alright? Do we mess up? Does the link work? Did I accidentally insert it into my Forecasting PowerPoint?